I’m fairly open about my emotions on Facebook in large part due to the feedback I get from people, whether it’s comments or private messages. It seems clear that many friends enjoy those posts. In the last few weeks I’ve written on sadness and winter blues because it’s been my experience lately, and if I’m to be with integrity it seems I ought to share the whole spectrum of emotion. I appreciate the check-ins from friends and supportive conversations.

This morning it seems I may have processed the bulk of what’s been weighing me down these last few week. Due to its scale and intensity, I’ve called the heaviness lodged in my chest “Cosmic Sadness.” It seemed so big, so unchanging, and so permanent.

And then I watched this wonderful performance this morning, and listened to the lyrics with my eyes closed, and found myself suddenly, unexpectedly, and intensely grieving my grandmother’s 1992 passing. Who knew? Perhaps such deep unprocessed grief requires the hardship that six months of winter can provide in order to reveal itself.

It is so interesting what hides in the shadows of our unprocessed emotions. May it all free itself.

Thank you to winter for your lessons.

Thank you to Gram for Love.

https://youtu.be/HNug41DLAHw